


Stellar Collision

by boxofwonder



Category: Persona 5
Genre: A light dash of philosophy, And a big dash of mutual unrequited pining to go, F/F, Generous descriptions of Takemi's neck, Like so much of that, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vampire AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 13:18:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13811979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofwonder/pseuds/boxofwonder
Summary: Once a week, she’d step into the small, cramped entry hall and see Takemi lazing in her booth, elegant legs in sight more often than not. The doctor would slowly lower whatever she’d been flipping through, and welcome her with a smile as if the wind had blasted a pleasant little surprise into her halls.It was a mere quirk of lips, but Sae was never certain whether it was a promise or a threat, even when Takemi was perfectly human.





	Stellar Collision

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to add a friggin definition to my notes so HERE WE GO: _Stellar collision - the coming together of two stars caused by gravity._ /checks it off my writers bingo checklist
> 
> They were supposed to be my quick sensual vampire drabble, and after months of tweaking and rewriting and despairing and editing, here we are.  
> I'll either keep writing them forever now that I think that I figured them out, or I'll never touch them again.

Sae always ducked into the back alleys way after dark, collar high and gaze low, hair twisted neatly under a cap as the simmering fear of discovery walked alongside her like a nighttime companion. And yet, the cold flare of the lights greeting her was a reassurance in itself, every time she caught sight of it.

The moment she stepped across the threshold, she could never help a small sigh of relief, relaxing as she let her hair fall down her back again and tucked the hat into her purse.

The rituality of it was soothing. Once a week, she’d step into the small, cramped entry hall and see Takemi lazing in her booth, elegant legs in sight more often than not. The doctor would slowly lower whatever she’d been flipping through, always busy catching up with new developments, theories, discoveries, and welcome her with a smile as if the wind had blasted a pleasant little surprise into her halls. It was a mere quirk of lips, but Sae was never certain whether it was a promise or a threat, even when Takemi was perfectly human.

If Sae were to even smile with her mouth showing teeth - showing fangs - well, it was not a slip she could afford, considering what she was.

Collected, calm, in control, that was the way she had learned to carry herself. Were she to appear unstable or threatening in any way, the painstakingly built cardhouse of her life would unravel faster than she could grab Makoto and haul her to safety ripping her little sister from the life she’d built.

If she had to, she would. No matter the cost. She'd rather be hated than attend another funeral, one in which she didn't hold onto a small hand in hers, onto a sobbing sister whose neck was covered in a fluffy scarf to hide the scars left on her by the monster that had taken their father.

Everyone had told her how amazing she was doing – an anchor to her grieving sister. But the truth had been that Makoto had anchored _her_ in a world that saw her abandon everything she knew, or dreamed of.

After that, every decision had been easy. Did it keep them fed? Did it keep Makoto happy, or at least, alive? Both wasn't always possible.

Sae had rebuilt from the ground up. Herself, her life. Her little sister had been turned into a beast so Sae let herself be turned, too. Learned how to be ravaged by hunger and then how to control it, how to keep her sister fed and teach her control.

To never loud, but always strict, never charging, but always standing her ground. And she had become the first non-human hunter in the division, following that philosophy.

Humans sneered at the monster in their rank, and vampires at the traitor. Sae could not care less for either of them. There was only one thing she needed to do and that was succeed, excel. With every single monster more that she brought down, she opened a path for those who wanted to live in peace, wanted to dream.

Already she had a disciple following in her footsteps, bright-eyed and polishing himself just as hard despite his age, turning himself into a pleasant, unassuming little angel even when Sae had _seen_ him hunt. He could have been Makoto's classmate, and it was hard not to feel somewhat responsible.

So much weighed on whether she succeeded or not, and here was the problem: her rations of blood where strictly controlled by the division, and her higher-ups kept her rations to just above the brink of starving. For weeks Sae had fought her way through training, dizzy with fatigue and hunger, working thrice as hard as everyone for mediocre results.

She'd realised fast that if she was to live up to her full potential she needed to be at full strength, or at least more than she was being granted.

Takemi understood that, or perhaps it was Sae’s money that forced her hand in ‘understanding’. She had no issue procuring fresh blood, for a price that wasn’t outrageous, either.

“I was almost worried you wouldn’t come today,” Takemi said, the lilt of her voice just another guilty pleasure of Sae’s trips to Yongen-Jaya.

“A small hold-up. Nothing severe.” Details were forbidden, and unnecessary. This was only a business transaction between them, and as soon as Sae would get her bags of blood, she’d be off into the night.

“I’m glad, then. Sometimes I worry.” It was always impossible to tell, with her, where the teasing ended and honesty began. Or perhaps it was only Sae who found her intentions impossible to gauge.

Takemi lowered her crossed legs from the table and sat up straight, carefully closing her reading choice of the day, a thick and glossy medical magazine. “Then I hope you won’t take my bad news quite so badly.”

A thrill went through Sae that she could not tamp down. “You could not procure it for me?” she asked, keeping her voice calm. Unprovoked, the little hope she had carried with her had stayed hidden - but it flared to life right now, a spark so bright it took all of her willpower to keep it from showing.

“Afraid not,” Takemi said, her gaze burning into Sae, unreadable. The words hung heavy between them, electrifying the air. Or perhaps, that was simply wishful thinking.

Sae cleared her throat. “I can count on you following up on our deal anyways?”

Takemi's smile truly was sharper than Sae's fangs. “Have I ever left you unsatisfied?”

Sae had learned to hide weakness, no matter the sign, so at least she knew with confidence that Takemi would not notice that her knees were weak as she followed her into the examination room. This was a hitch in their routine that had happened only twice before, so Sae lacked the reassurance that repetition afforded.

“You’re so docile,” Takemi teased as she settled across from Sae, taking the unfamiliar place on the examination table herself. She crossed her legs, elbow on her knee, and propped her chin up on her hand. “This is why I don’t fear your kind.”

Sae only lifted a brow in turn. She sat, her posture pristine, legs crossed, hands folded in her lap, a respectful distance away because it helped her settle. It was a careful balance, to look in control and strong without ever tipping into intimidating territory. Sae had honed in for a long time. “You should perhaps accompany to my work then, one day,” she said evenly. “That, perhaps, would fix your perception of … my kind.”

Takemi only hummed, entirely relaxed despite knowing what was to come. Perhaps she trusted docile Sae’s selfcontrol that much? It was a thought as vexing as it was pleasant.

Not to be feared, or resented – not to be met with the slightest hint of distrust - it was a novel feeling.

“Vampires are not the only ones who murder humans.” Takemi's gaze snapped up, pinning Sae in place. Her words were calm, trying to seem aloof and yet, that effect was ruined by the care with which Takemi chose them. “Humans do terrible things to their own kind, and yours. Yet I choose not to fear all humans, either. I've never been a friend of hysteria and hypocrisy. Anyways.” She smiled easily. “Philosophy is not what you came here for, is it? You pay me for supplying you, so let me make due on it.”

And just like that, she shrugged off her crisp, white coat and tossed it next to her.

It was … impossible, not to look at the line of her neck, exposed as it was. The soft skin, just begging to be marked -

Sae cleared her throat. It was - irresponsible, to resort to such … methods. Something quite so feral. Quite so … intimate. To go to such lengths simply to hold up her end of a bargain was terribly foolish of Takemi, and Sae was grateful that at least, Takemi had put her trust in _her._ Anyone else might use her so easily, and Sae -

Well, sometimes, _she_ worried, too.

Takemi was an enigma, someone completely and utterly impossible. Simply looking at her like this left Sae burning, aching, yearning.

It was the need for blood, an instinct that ran deep, feral, and could only be sated by sinking teeth into soft skin. But the truly terrifying thing was that the hunger was only half of it - more than that it was Sae’s desperate need to press her lips against that neck precisely, to wrap her arms around the frame of a woman who did not fear her. Who carried marks along her arms and still refused to believe in monsters.

Who chose to _tease_ the monster instead - treating Sae as if she wasn’t one. Who acted aloof but looked at the world with more compassion than anyone Sae knew.

Under Takemi’s steady gaze, in her easy company, Sae forgot everyone who had ever called her cold, and unapproachable.When Sae was here, tucked away into the little clinic in the middle of the night, she felt … light, in ways she had not known were possible anymore.

In ways she had buried long ago alongside a family long lost, with a small hand clutched in hers.

Takemi awoke all that in her again, merely with her presence. It was a dangerous thing to indulge in, but Sae could not keep herself from it.

“What?” Takemi asked, a challenge offered so mildly and yet, with such a profound effect. “You’re just going to sit there and watch? Is that how you drink these days?”

Always some kind of remark on her lips. Sae frowned and pushed to her feet, feeling nervous in ways she never did, when she hunted. When she fought. When she faced down murderers that set the entire city trembling.

But Takemi’s sly smile as she tilted her head to the side - that was its own kind of danger. “Come now, my docile little vampire. I do not have all evening to satiate your needs.”

Did she have to phrase it that way? This was inappropriate enough without -

Sae took a shuddering breath. Words. She still had them, always found them, no matter how hard she needed to yank them into the open. “Of course I don’t plan to waste your time. I know we are both busy women.” Her voice was steady, unaffected.

Good.

“Still trying for the professional tone?” Takemi chuckled, and closed her eyes. Just like that. Her lashes barely fluttered as she tilted her head further, offering her pulse.

Her unspoken trust stirred something in Sae that unbalanced her, made her forget herself - at least for a moment. The greatest danger of all.

Takemi opened one eye, its sharp glint fixing on Sae. “It’s just me, y’know? You could try to have a little fun with this.”

Fun. Now her teasing had become mockery. “I would be in trouble if this were my idea of ‘fun’.” Sae stepped closer, still, because she _was_ terribly thirsty. And this was their deal. It was _necessary,_ that was the only reason she could indulge, and enjoyment had no place here.

Takemi sighed, straightening and opening her eyes. “Does it not get exhausting to never allow yourself to want for anything?”

It felt like a rejection, like that small, frail, dangerous moment was lost. Biting the inside of her cheek, Sae took a step away, expression carefully collected. How dare Takemi ask that of her when Sae had so much she wanted and had already _gotten_ through discipline alone. But before she could bring distance between them, she found herself trapped by a war weight - Takemi’s long legs wrapping aound her thighs.

Before Sae could process this, their grip tightened, making her stumble closer - trapping her, tightly, against the other woman’s body. Takemi tipped her head up, looking at her from beneath her lashes. “Do you have any idea of what fun entails? Or rather, would you allow yourself some?” Sae opened her mouth to reply, but was left speechless when Takemi added, in a voice way too husky: “What is it that you _want,_ Nijima-san?”

Sae, subtly, leaned against the warm weight trapping her to see whether she could break free. Takemi’s dress was so short, it left her bare skin against the fabric of Sae’s pants, and she could not help her breath running short at noticing that contrast.

Surely, within a second, Takemi would cease this prank and let go. It had to be yet another test. Sae knew those, as always, she only needed to keep her calm. Stay unaffected, keep her racing heart in check. “Is this … your idea of fun?”

“As a matter of fact.” Takemi hummed. Her grip did not ease, she only leaned her weight back on her hands, so she could look up at Sae more easily. “You are certain you do not enjoy this one bit?”

It was terrifying, to be so close to being discovered. So terrifying, and so exhilarating, to have someone peak beneath her armor so easily, find the cracks and slip through. Each time more, the doctor got deeper under her skin, and at some point, Sae would need to draw the line.

Perhaps the best moment, as always, was right now. Sae put all the steel in her eyes, her voice. “Yes, I am certain.”

If only her words had ever reached the woman holding her so tightly in her grip.

“You must be aware that the pupil dilates if something interesting catches your sight,” Takemi told her with a sly smile.

“Or for a myriad of other reasons.” What was the point of this exercise? Had she not made her feelings clear enough? Again, Sae subtly tested how tight Takemi’s grip truly was - but her thigh muscles were formidable, her ankles crossed behind Sae.

“Trying to escape me?” Takemi hummed, sounding entirely too pleased.

“This does not feel exactly appropriate, considering that -” She was cut off, when Takemi reached up, trailing a touch along her cheek.

A touch so soft, it rocked Sae to her very core.

“If you had enough blood for it, I think you would be blushing,” Takemi breathed, so close, Sae noticed every subtle shade of those keen eyes that noticed too much, must have _witnessed_ too much, and yet could meet the world with kindness. It was impossible to pull away from this.

Sae could feel Takemi’s breath against her own lips, more intimate than any actual kiss that had ever left Sae unsatisfied, and was quickly discarded as unnecessary.

Heat pooled in her stomach, and she swallowed, harsh as the thought wormed its way into her heart that if Takemi were to close the distance between them, Sae knew, every fibre of her knew, that ‘unsatisfactory’ would be the last word coming to mind -

“I want to see that,” Takemi whispered, her beautiful fingers fitting along the curve of Sae’s face, unravelling her armor of steel as if it weighed nothing, was nothing. “So please, help yourself.”

And, reckless, willful as she was, Takemi guided Sae’s face to the exposed curve of her neck.

The exchange had left Sae so dizzy and aching, she followed. Braced herself left and right to Takemi’s hips, so close the insides of her arms brushed the fabric of her skin-warmed dress. And when her lips settled against Takemi’s soft skin, she could not help the soft sound escaping her.

Takemi answered in a hum, blissful and urgent at once, and Sae lost herself to the sensations - the heat of Takemi’s legs closed around her, her scent so close, her pulse _thundering_.

Rational thought fell away so simply, went up in flames as every carnal instinct in her rejoiced at this - the mere act. And yet, and yet. If it had simply been the blood - if that had robbed her mind, perhaps Sae would not have felt so terrified.

But this was a moment of weakness, of absolute surrender - a moment in which her amor lay at her feet and what was left was clarity. And when her thoughts fell away, what came to the surface was undeniable truth. Even having Takemi in her arms like this would never be enough for all the need in her. Everything she was Sae wanted to put into Takemi’s hands, and everything that Takemi was she yearned to hold.

And at the same time, she knew that this was all she ever could have - a secret encounter in an examination room at night, a stolen moment that would pass and be replaced by the anonimity of a plastic bag next week, wholly sensible and rational. There was no space in her life for someone like Takemi, much the same way Sae could not imagine her presence to be desirable to the doctor beyond a weekly visit, a weekly match of wits and trade of increasingly familiar pleasantries.

In a sudden, possessive urge Sae reached up, fingers tangling in Takemi’s hair, who made a soft noise at the back of her throat as Sae tilted her head further. Pressed her lips against the curve of Takemi’s neck with more insistence, tongue darting out to taste her skin. Sae couldn’t hold back, chasing the thrill of the noises slipping from Takemi’s lips, unbidden, a secret in their tight embrace. Takemi arched towards her, and Sae’s other hand splayed against her ribs, felt them expand with every gulped breath of anticipation.

What would she do, if Sae would kiss a line to her jaw? Forego the blood entirely, the only reason they were pressed together this way? What would it feel like to let go, to surrender, to allow her heart to -

To keep herself from wondering, from hoping, from _yearning,_ Sae sank her fangs into Takemi’s skin, sudden and harsh. But if anything, Takemi reacted to it with more vigor, her whole body jerking. Takemi’s breath shuddered from her in a moan that left Sae shivering with need.

It did not help, how starved Sae had been - how good it felt, the silky slide of blood down her throat. She sighed against Takemi’s neck, and sighed again when the doctor’s arms came up, wound around her neck. They were entwined, connected, Sae was literally tasting her very life and yet it was not _enough._

It would never be enough.

But this moment was all she had and so Sae clung to it the same way Takemi clung to _her,_ every breath and  every gasp a secret only meant for them as they held onto each other, and it was better than anything Sae had ever tasted, had ever _felt -_

When she realised it was enough, that there was nothing more for Takemi to give before she’d grow too dizzy, too weak, it was physically painful to pull away from her. From this embrace, this _moment_.

Sae allowed herself to taste the last drops of blood, to leave a lingering kiss over the bruise she had left. An apology as much as a goodbye.

And as she pulled away, slowly, her rational mind spluttered back to life. Pointed out every inacceptable aspect of this - her fingers tangled so tightly in Takemi’s hair, all the possessive, uncalled thoughts - and the fact that her whole body had reacted as if the horny teenage phase she had skipped had caught up with her all at once.

What was she _doing_? Flustered and in desperate need to regain control, Sae tried to inch away, but Takemi held on fast - as if the thought of parting was equally unbearable to her. But of course, she did let go, and Sae’s heart sank with the loss of that unfamiliar weight keeping her anchored even as she lost her mind.

It was simple to know what she _should_ do - make sure that Takemi was fine. Offer a glass of water and make sure she ate something sweet so her body could recover. After all, every ounce of strength Sae could feel pulsing through herself was strength Takemi had willfully surrendered to her.

But before she could gather herself enough to speak, Takemi reached up again, fingertips touching her burning cheek. “There,” she breathed, her eyes glazed over, her lips parted like an invitation, cheeks burning so lovely. The sight of her only made Sae’s need coil and tighten. It knocked the breath from her lungs. “It suits you,” Takemi muttered. “Oh, how it does.”

For a second, Sae entertained the thought - what would happen, if she’d grasp Takemi’s cheeks in turn, tilted her head, leaned in -

She wanted to push the doctor down against the stretcher, climb atop her, find out whether her kisses would be anywhere close to being as intoxicating as kissing her neck, drinking her blood. She wanted to -

_And where would that lead?_

That was right. Sae stepped back and away, needing physical distance if she failed so spectacularly at keeping an emotional one.

It was foolish to entertain this notion. Useless, and too risky. Desire could not hold a sway over the cold logic that kept her life secured and steady. If _this_ was what happened before Sae ever even got to taste Takemi’s lips -

No. Sae made sure her voice was cold, detached. Her foolish heart would follow and fall in line soon enough. It always did, eventually. “I’ll get you a glass of water.”

“No juice for me? Pity,” Takemi replied playfully, the fever cooling from her eyes and words. She let her legs dangle to the floor, calmly adjusting her dress. “Should I apologise, for being so clingy?”

“Should I apologise for being so rough?” Sae asked, without thinking. The words tipped the atmosphere like stormclouds swallowing the sun, and she looked at Takemi’s awestruck expression, her lips slightly agape, her gaze sparking with interest.

Takemi’s smile was a critical hit to the logic that kept Sae sane enough to stay rooted in place right now. Not to cross the room, not to -

“You never should for that.” Takemi trailed a hand over the bruise, biting her lip. “I really quite like it. Seeing you take charge is quite something.” Why was she so good at … _this_? The way Takemi yielded words was so different from Sae’s, and yet, it held its own power. “I don’t usually like to surrender, but if it’s you …” She trailed off, which only made the statement _more_ seductive, somehow.

It took all of Sae’s concentration and willpower to focus on nothing but the steady stream of water filling the cup in her hand even as Takemi’s gaze felt like a touch as it wandered down her body.

 _Bad idea._ Impossible idea. Sae’s hands trembled, but not when she held onto the glass with a little more force.

“You’ll take your leave then?” Takemi asked, and Sae could not decide whether she sounded disappointed or not, as she handed over the glass. Their fingers brushed, and Sae quickly pulled away, skin tingling.

Sae could no longer bear to look at her. “I’ll be back next week.” Even though she shouldn’t. There were other suppliers, certainly - but even as she was in too deep, she trusted Takemi to keep her secret. She trusted in her kindness, and it seemed impossible to find anyone reliable enough to fill the space she’f left behind.

It was rational to come back as much as it was a gamble that might cost her sanity.

Takemi swallowed gulps of water slowly and deliberately, and Sae tried not to look at the movement of her throat, or the way Takemi licked the last drops of water from her lips. The look in her eyes promised she was well aware of the attention. “Let’s see if i can procure your boring bags for you again, by then.”

Sae could not tell what compelled her.

The world had tilted and left her reeling, armor in tatters around her. How long would it take to put herself back together? Not more than a night, but right now, she could not withstand her foolish impulse. There was an itch inside her that demanded an answer still, demanded _something._ So, slowly, she made her way to the small fridge where Takemi usually stored the blood for her, watching the doctor from the corner of her eye.

She tensed visibly, but did not object as Sae crouched down. Slowly, she opened the door, and found herself looking at generously stocked rations.

Even if Sae had gotten injured gravely, this would have been enough to save her life. It even was her favourite blood type, for the most part.

The feeling roaring up inside her was indescribable in its intense satisfaction. Slowly, calmly, Sae closed the door again. “Let’s see whether you will be able to,” she said, impressed that her voice was steady, stable still.

She needed distance to work through everything setting her chest alight, and twisting it so tightly it ached all the same. Sae needed to get out of here. Ideally, she needed the thrill of a hunt to clear her mind, the satisfaction of a task fulfilled.

But for now, simply slipping back into the night would be enough. “Take care, Takemi-san. Thank you for your services.”

“You know you can count on me to provide them,” the doctor replied easily, but with the blossoming bruise against her pale skin and her posture slightly hunched, a half-emptied glass of water cradled in her palms, she looked surprisingly lost.

It constricted Sae’s chest more tightly, to see her that way. The thought of leaving her like this was unbearable, especially after Sae had gotten … _something,_ looking into the fridge. A bit of honesty, perhaps. A slip of Takemi’s own armor. Sae licked her lips. “Do you enjoy chocolate?”

For once, it was easy to read Takemi as she raised her head - the surprise made her look so vulnerable that Sae flinched and tore her gaze from the sight.

“Chocolate?”

“Chocolate,” Sae repeated. “If you are to - provide me, this way … I must make certain you’ll have a necessary sugar boost. To encourage your body to …” She trailed off, unsure where she’d gone with this thought, or if it even made sense.

Right now, nothing made sense, because everything inside her demanded everything that her mind categorised as a terrible idea.

But when she glimpsed sideways, Takemi’s smile was worth it, all of it. “Where’s the fun in just telling you? Try to find something you think I might like and we’ll see whether I do, shall we?”

Maybe that was what was so intoxicating.

With Takemi, Sae had never felt as if she held the reigns. No matter how hard she tried, a simple breath, a word, a smile, and Takemi had already forced her to surrender again.

Even when she surrendered to Sae as she had done offering herself, it was on _her_ terms.

The moments here were the only times in her life Sae was not allowed to, but gently forced to let go, even if for a little.

“We will see,” Sae replied, still so evenly. And she did not look back as she left, even as she felt like the force of the tangled mess inside her would overwhelm her. Even as she fought the urge to turn and hurry back. Instead, Sae twisted her hair back under the cap and buried her nose in her scarf.

 _Just another week,_ she promised herself, stepping out into the cold night air that caressed her heated face.

And unknown to the world, only in the confines of her own mind, Sae allowed herself to ponder the question of what to bring Takemi next time, what would make her happy, or catch her off guard, or perhaps both.

In the silence of the night and the soothing company of the dark, Sae did not bother to try and hide her smile.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I do not remember the last time I needed two characters to kiss so badly and yet did not get them anywhere close even when they were _so close_.


End file.
